Western societal values, at least in modern times, have placed a great emphasis on independence. We are trained, with few exceptions, to be strong and to take care of ourselves. Those who can “stand on their own two feet” are commended; those who want or need to rely on others are questioned and viewed as weak or inferior in some sense.
Although there are indisputable benefits to having positive and effective coping skills and being able to manage stress and adversity well, the implicit assumptions underlying this concept have a bad side.
We can’t know everything, and we can’t do everything we need to do to take care of ourselves or live a good and healthy life; as a result, we all need help from time to time, and asking help can and often is in the best interests of everyone concerned.
The issue is thus in associating negative connotations with something (e.g., requesting assistance) that may ultimately lead to or contribute to favorable outcomes.
Taking the initial step toward seeking assistance for an addiction or substance misuse problem is often the most difficult. Unfortunately, many people seek treatment after their addiction has produced significant legal, personal, or health issues.
Each individual has their own set of reasons for not getting help: they don’t know how to talk to someone about their problems, they don’t want to appear weak, they don’t want people to think they’re insane, they don’t trust anyone with their vulnerabilities, and so on.
When it comes to requiring emotional support, many people are eager to provide but reluctant to accept. Perhaps it’s our perfectionist society, where people casually inquire, “How are you?” and want you to always respond, “Fine, thanks.” We might appear broken if we told everyone exactly how we felt that day.
Men appear to be especially resistant to seeking professional help. However, asking for help is a component of emotional intelligence; Below, we delve further into why it is so difficult for people to ask for help? Is it because we associate asking for help with vulnerability, with being weak, with not being enough?
There is a concern that if you ask for help, you will give up all control and the person you seek help from will take over the entire endeavor. Even outside of the office, we sometimes worry that if we ask for assistance, we’ll get more than we want or need.
There’s also the worry of what someone will seek in return. No one wants to feel indebted, and asking someone else to help you can tip the power balance in a relationship. Most of us would want a reciprocal situation: I will assist you with this report, and you will assist me with this client. I’ll pick up your child from school; could you perhaps have mine over for a play date the following week?
In two scenarios, the relationship becomes uneven. The first category includes folks who constantly beg for assistance but never reciprocate. They don’t need to learn how to ask for aid, but rather how to give it.
The second category includes folks who will gladly come to your help but will never allow you to return the favor. In principle, having someone who is always prepared to provide a helping hand without expecting anything in return may seem ideal, but I know I quickly become uneasy with that equation.
Another reason asking for assistance is difficult is that most people have never been trained how to properly ask. So we do it poorly, at times resorting to guilt, pressure, and blackmail. When we need help, we appeal to pity or sometimes approach the wrong individual. We may have felt ashamed while asking for help in the past, so we are afraid to do it again.
Fear of Being a Burden
There is a lot of embarrassment that comes with asking for help. The person asking is on the defensive, aware that they are requesting a favor and unsure whether the person would accept their request.
This is despite the fact that we all know that helping others makes us happy. Why should we be a burden if we ask the proper people for aid and make it easy for them to help us? We are giving them the opportunity to take pride in being a part of our success.
Reframe your perception of getting assistance. Instead of worrying about how people will view your request, make sure you structure it in a way that will elicit a positive response.
You can make it easier for others to assist you by being clear and explicit in your request. Avoid being ambiguous, and make sure you perform the work first, rather than delegating it to them. Request something simple for them to grasp and deliver. And ask at the appropriate moment.
Admitting that your relationship is hurting, that you may be caught in a rut professionally, or that your life of drug abuse feels utterly out of control is a major step for most individuals. But why is that? Isn’t it true that everyone has been there at some point? Doesn’t it feel better to be proactive, taking efforts to feel better rather than reactive, navigating a tornado of emotions every day?
Vulnerability is frequently mistaken for weakness. Being vulnerable is an important element of seeing and accepting your actual self in the context of recovery. Sobriety does not result from continuing to believe lies about oneself. It is dependent on your ability to recognize what is going on in your life, regardless of how bad your circumstances are right now.
Make yourself ready. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you may not like what you see. Many of the qualities that attract attention may appear undesirable at first. This is just the beginning. An honest assessment of yourself and the problems you confront can help determine how you progress through treatment for a substance use disorder.
Relationships founded on honesty and openness can blossom into powerful support networks. These can be people you meet in treatment or someone you’ve known for years. In either case, the connection becomes an opportunity to trust and be trusted because of your vulnerability.
Don’t be hesitant to ask for assistance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, reach out to drug rehab and treatment centers in West Palm Beach Florida. The support will make all the difference.
Seeking assistance for substance abuse does not have to arise after a serious accident, negative repercussions, or reaching rock bottom. Admitting your addiction, however challenging, can help you find freedom with the correct tools and treatment.
To begin your recovery path, you must make the courageous decision to be vulnerable. No recovery is perfect, regardless of how hard someone works or how dedicated they are to sobriety. Vulnerability allows you to discuss your struggles with staying sober. The goal is never to paint a perfect picture, but rather to produce a truthful one.
By sharing your struggles with your support system members, you keep yourself open to new paths to sobriety. These possibilities could include a number of treatment options, a variety of healthy hobbies, a new resource for mental health support, and much more. A lifetime commitment to sobriety will necessitate new solutions and methods along the road, and being vulnerable with yourself and others can lead to the assistance you require tomorrow, next month, and next year.
Seeking therapy should thus be viewed as a good action that improves one’s health, well-being, and happiness. Seeking assistance, regardless of the difficulty, is a sign of bravery and courage and should be made as simple as possible for as many people as feasible.